Aspiration to Reality Blog

Many years ago, I studied Transcendental Meditation, and the teacher shared a story which I have always remembered, and which really helped me to understand the concept of accessing a greater level of depth in my meditation practice. Years later, this story has also served well many times as a way to describe working at a deeper level with our coaching clients. The story goes… If you imagine your ...

Grief can look many different ways. In our culture we tend to reserve grief for when someone dies, but it goes far beyond that. Grief is nuanced and, if we allow it, we can touch on it in the endings that are present every day. We grieve when we lose or change jobs, when a beloved pet dies, a relationship ends, family estrangement or difficulties, your children growing and ...

The current ICF Core Competency model was produced as a result of a two year long job analysis exploring the knowledge, skills, tasks and activities needed for any practitioner to operate skilfully as a professional coach. Amongst many other things, this extensive research gave rise to the identification of five key themes which were considered of significant importance for inclusion in the final body of work. One of those ...

Within the coaching community, we often hear the term ‘lifelong learner’ as being something that we, as practitioners of coaching, are encouraged, and even expected, to embrace. From an International Coaching Federation (ICF) perspective, this idea of lifelong learning is marked and highlighted in several ways: We have the credentials of Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and Master Certified Coach (MCC) as a way of noting ...

We all know that a New Year typically means new goals, new resolutions, new habits, new… We also know that much of this ‘new’ stuff stops after about 3-5 weeks and then it’s either forgotten about or we feel bad because we failed, yet again. As an alternative approach, here are a few thoughts and ideas that you could be useful for both you and your clients in thinking ...

In the past three years, I have written three articles which are related to beginnings, endings, celebrations and acknowledgements. New Starts — New Beginnings (December 2019) Celebrate What is Right with Your World (December 2020) Acknowledge and Celebrate (September 2022) I would encourage you to review these articles if this is a topic that intrigues you, especially with the New Year on the horizon! This year, I want to ...

One of the things that I love about being in the profession of coaching, is generally how very kind, generous and compassionate coaches usually are. My overriding experience is that coaches are simply really good people! One of the ways some of these characteristics show up is in the many different projects and initiatives that coaches participate in on a pro bono or reduced fee basis. I can honestly ...

Back in February 2020, I wrote about the ‘new’ ICF Code of Ethics and the changes that were made to the code, which were quite substantial. Over the years I have delivered many classes on ethics, and they alway include how we make ethical decisions. Here, I'll offer thinking around: Where do our ethics typically come from? What influences how we make ethical decisions? What are the ways we ...

At a recent conference, the keynote speaker was discussing innovation and commented on how “additive bias” can impeded our creativity and innovation when we are constantly tempted to add something, as opposed to consider what to take away… Given that bias, awareness of bias (both our own and that of our clients) and how this informs coaching conversations is of significant relevance to coaching, this sparked my interest and ...

During a recent cohort of our Business Development for Coaches Programme, a question arose about whether, as you consider your Coaching Practice, coaching is something that you are going to Integrate into what you are currently doing or are you Transitioning into doing something different from what you have been doing? Further, does it matter and is there a difference? Let's look at those different aspects of a coach’s ...

I never cease to be amazed how many lessons I can draw from my yoga practice that inform my coaching practice... Last week I was in a class and found myself in a particularly challenging pose and felt a really big stretch on some tight ligaments in my right hip. It was uncomfortable and my mind immediately started complaining and thinking about ways to avoid the discomfort. What if ...

Let's explore the importance of ‘checking in’ with our clients during a coaching conversation. What I notice is that most often it happens towards the end of the conversation only and yet, if done more frequently, can often lead to more and deeper learning and awareness for clients. It can also support us as coaches to remain curious and present with our clients and keep out of their way ...

As an executive coach, I’ve had the privilege to work with clients from a variety of industries and backgrounds. Each of my clients has their own unique challenges and expectations of what coaching can do for them. However, one common theme I’ve observed and validated with client feedback is that coaching has helped them explore their potential in a deeper way than they could have done on their own. ...

French composer Claude Debussy said, 'Music is the space between the notes.' I like to think that the transformation in coaching happens in the silence between the words. A few years ago, I was working with the academic leader of a large pharmaceutical company. Although the coachee was based in the USA, he was originally from the Asia Pacific region, and English was not his first language. Given that ...

A Beginning to an Ending And then I remember, the tree is shedding her wondrous cloak of many colours So she can conserve her energy, go inwards for some quiet contemplation To then come back and say ‘hello’ later through tiny buds with much potential and growth And joy to come again - new leaves, new buds, pretty blossoms and juicy fruits Yes, indeed, as the leaves fall, it ...

I have had clients stuck in their limiting beliefs and assumptions that they and their situations are a certain way, impossible to change. Those beliefs have affected their potential to achieve what they want in life. But coaching has helped them to question whether their beliefs are valid and true. Through coaching sessions, the client often realises that these beliefs and assumptions aren’t true and don’t serve them. Helpful ...

We are relatively new to the exciting world of coaching. That is, we are relatively new to why and how it should be done. Most businesses these days will talk about having a positive, people-first culture and probably think they are already providing coaching for their employees. But the reality is that to be a proper coach, training is needed. Coaching is becoming a required skill among managers and ...

Just like Lewis Carroll’s Alice, curiosity has been my constant companion as I move deeper into the ‘wonderland’ of transformational coaching. Curiosity is a fundamental cornerstone of coaching others. More than a state of mind, it manifests as a behaviour demonstrated in our use of powerful questions — how we listen, respond, reframe and then listen again — all core elements of the ICF competency framework. It keeps us ...

One of the great premises in professional coaching lies in trusting in the client's potential of achieving new and greater results for themselves. Whether that potential is known or unknown to the client, the coach stands as a true partner in helping that potential come to life. To that end, professional coaches have several tools at their disposal. One of the most important ones is the ability to ask ...

Coaching is a rapidly growing profession that helps individuals and organisations unlock their potential, overcome limiting beliefs, and achieve their goals. The power of coaching lies in its ability to empower individuals to identify their unique strengths, values, and aspirations and develop strategies to reach their full potential. As a coach with many years of experience, I have witnessed firsthand the positive impact coaching can have on individuals' personal ...

When ‘exploring potential’ was proposed as the theme for articles to celebrate International Coaching Week, I jumped at the chance to put my experience down on paper. I’ve been driven to support people in reaching their potential for much of my working life. It led me into leadership development as a career in the early 1990s and into coaching more than 15 years ago. It’s the reason I do ...

It’s International Coaching Week! This week we will be sharing inspiring stories around the power of professional coaching. In addition, we’ll be celebrating with a series of special offers for our community. Continue reading to learn more! Sharing Stories of Exploring Potential This year’s theme from the International Coaching Federation is ‘Explore Your Potential,’ and we have asked our valued alumni community to share stories pertaining to that theme. We ...

We’ve probably all heard the term “growing pains” before, often used to describe the aching that children and young people have in their legs as their muscles accelerate rapidly is size and strength as part of their natural development process. As adults we might also feel muscular discomfort after a workout, as our muscles repair and get bigger and stronger. There’s “no gain without pain” is another commonly used ...

Question: When should you start developing your coaching business? Answer: All the time! As business owners, we need to be looking at our business regularly. It doesn’t matter if we have just started out in our business, if we are long-time solopreneurs, if we run a limited company and have done so for a while, or it’s a part time business (or side hustle). However, the depth that we ...

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First Having just returned to work after the luxury of about six weeks off, I have been reminding myself, that in fact it was not a ‘luxury’ to take six weeks off, it was something I wanted to do and is and was part of my overall plan of looking after myself – what I call self-care. I want to remind us that, in ...

In a previous article called Science and Art of Coaching, I shared a model by Michael Grinder that inspired the name of our ICF accredited coaching education programme. In his model, Michael shares how, as we develop, we initially focus on the “science” or technique of what we are learning. In this phase, we are seeking to become knowledgeable, confident, and proficient at knowing “what” to do and “how”. ...

The question: “What do I do with clients who talk a lot?” is quite common in both Mentor Coaching and Coaching Supervision conversations. In this blog, I will take a look at various aspects of this question and how we can most effectively engage with a verbose client. First be Curious and seek to Understand The first thing to do, is not a ‘do’ at all, it’s a ‘be’! ...

Here are a couple of big questions: Do you have a ‘live’ Coaching Practice and are you practising coaching regularly? If you are not practising your coaching regularly, how are you keeping fit for purpose? If you are practising regularly, are you getting feedback on your coaching to ensure you haven’t slipped into any poor habits. Either way it’s so important that we use our skills. The adage ‘use ...

What is the Grey Space? There has always been a boundary that coaches navigate between coaching and counselling or therapy, or indeed other professional services such as consultancy or mentoring. Knowing how to effectively manage that boundary is important for ensuring that a client is in fact receiving the most suitable, appropriate, and helpful professional service given their wants, needs and circumstances etc. However, whilst this boundary has always ...

Often one of the things that people say coaching is about, is that its  providing ‘feedback’ to our clients. How I like to characterise that is that feedback is like holding a mirror up to our client, in support of them, to see what perhaps we and others see in them that they may not see themselves… Sometimes, and perhaps many times, we don’t always see our strengths and ...

The term ‘Reflective Practice” is being increasingly used in the context of coaching and is explicitly referenced in ICF Core Competency 2: Embodies a Coaching Mindset: “Develops an ongoing reflective practice to enhance one’s coaching”. Learning to reflect in order to improve one’s own practice is perceived as important across a range of professions, from teaching to counselling, and from management to clinical work. Knowing the self and managing ...

Just recently I noticed, in different conversations, people talking about the need to be creative and how difficult it was to find the time and space to be creative. The conversations were around various topics such as creating new products, creating a website, business development etc. I became curious to explore what it takes to find the time and space to be creative. I also wondered how that might ...

“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional” The Buddha This Buddhist parable explains that life sometimes presents us with situations, events, and circumstances that create pain for us. They are some of life’s inevitable arrows that come our way… misfortune, accidents, loss, separation, illness, bereavement, etc. However anytime this happens, there is ...

This month we have a guest blogger which is all about how to create and build motivation. He uses the analogy of building a fire, something he was taught by his father as a child.  As coaches, we can often come across clients who want to achieve big goals and sometimes struggle with ‘just’ getting started, ‘just’ doing it, and often it can come down to beliefs, confidence, and ...

It’s International Coaching Week! This week we will be sharing inspiring stories around the power and impact of professional coaching and we hope you’ll follow along.  This year’s theme from the International Coaching Federation is “Reimagine the Future” and we have found that quite fitting given the events of the past few years. No one has gone untouched by the events of the pandemic and the rapid changes happening ...

What is the ultimate purpose of Coaching? The International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) definition of coaching describes the purpose as maximising the client’s personal and professional potential. Maximising our potential implies growth, and to leverage our growth we need to effectively apply our awareness, insight, and learning. Therefore, a key part of a coach’s role is to partner with clients in support of them becoming more aware, to have insights ...

A Key Strength and Skill for Any Coach Recently, a mentee shared a poem that really resonated with me. It came from Chris Guillebeau’s blog which included the author’s thinking on the meaning of the poem. The poem is from a 14th Century Sufi Poet called Hafiz and, as Chris states, it really illustrates the concept of empowerment. The Small Man Builds Cages For Everyone  The small man Builds ...

The term “trust the process” is one that is often heard within the sphere of coaching, in fact I have used it myself when teaching coaching skills, along with other related terms such as “trust yourself, trust your client…trust the process”. In all honesty, when it was first said to me as a student of coaching, I didn’t quite understand it as I was still so fixed on trying ...

The art of reflective practice – for our work and for ourselves. When a new year begins, we often reflect on our last year and ponder on our future and coming year. At the start of 2020, my article New Starts-New Beginnings was on intentions for the coming year that also had the element of reflection in it. Interestingly, when you look at the definition of ‘to reflect’ or ...

Coaching is a dialogue that is intended to facilitate forward movement in service of the client maximising their potential. Whilst taking next steps and actions after coaching sessions is important, so often a coaching conversation can become limited to a single focus on eliciting actions, which significantly limits the potential of coaching and I think also somewhat misses the point. As a Mentor Coach, when listening to coach recordings, ...

An often less used tool in a coach’s toolbox is the use of Silence. Let's take a moment to review the purpose and power of silence in coaching and indicate where it is embedded within the ICF Core Competencies. Maintains Presence (CC5) - one of the sub-competencies states: “Creates or allows space for silence, pause or reflection”. This is a more general ability, demonstrated across a coaching conversation as ...

When we first start training and learning to become a coach, our focus, perhaps quite understandably, is on the learning, understanding and application of some of the relevant skills and competencies. We might call this the “doing of coaching”. Like when we learn any other new skill, getting to grips with the basics and the technical skills are an important part of the foundational process of our professional development. In ...

When and how can a coach offer insights or thinking without it turning into advice giving? Or without using their expertise? Here we will explore the concept of the coach demonstrating vulnerability—which often comes from being able to be comfortable with the idea of ‘not knowing’, especially, when offering insights and comments, not assuming them to be ‘the truth’. First, let's look at some of the sub-competencies that I ...

Reflecting, summarising and paraphrasing in a coaching conversation is an important skill that a coach needs to learn. It’s not just the skill itself that is important, it can often be more about when to do it, and indeed ‘if’ to do it (the art) than what and how to do ‘it’ (the science). What I notice in early day coaches is that this skill is often overused in ...

In last month’s article, we looked at ‘Maintains Coaching Presence’, one of the eight ICF Core Competencies in the updated model that comes into effect later in 2021. We specifically explored the relationship between this and Competency 4 Cultivates Trust and Safety, the place, purpose and value of presence in coaching, and some of the psychological thinking that underpins this important element of coaching skill. In Part 2, we ...

Maintains Coaching Presence is one of the eight ICF Core Competencies in the updated model that comes into effect later in 2021. This is such a pivotal skill and quality that coaches bring to their practice with clients. I am sharing my thoughts on this topic in a 2-part series. In Part 1 below, I explore what presence is and its place, purpose and value in the coaching process. ...

I recently had a supervision session with someone on the value and purpose, or not, of storytelling in coaching. Is it really coaching? It led me to thinking I would offer a blog on my perspectives and thoughts on story telling in coaching. I will look at the types of storytelling that could happen in coaching, what the purpose and value might be when offered by the client, or ...

We are feeling creatures that think, not thinking creatures that feel. The Gry-LaViolette (1981) scientific research, which integrated psychology and neurophysiology, articulated that feelings organise thoughts and that thoughts are filed in our memory bank according to the various “shades” of feelings associated with them. The conclusion of this work is that the mind, with its thoughts, is driven by those feelings. Each feeling is the cumulative derivative of ...

Metaphor can be powerful in coaching. It is part of ICF Core Competency 7, Evoking Awareness, a competency that I often sense is least used and yet can bring powerful insight and new thinking more quickly. Let's explore what it is, why it is so useful in coaching and how coaches, and indeed anyone, might use metaphor to deepen awareness and facilitate insight. What is a metaphor? The word ...

As we have been planning programming for 2021, it's caused us to reflect upon our overarching philosophy and approach to coach development and maturity—which underpins and positions how and why these programmes have been created. Understanding our underlying philosophy will help you get to know us and how we work a little better and why we've structured our programmes the way we do. Our philosophy of Coach Maturity As ...

Welcome to 2021! What a year 2020 has been. Last year I wrote about ‘New Starts and New Beginnings’ and this year I would still encourage you to do that exercise again, however, I felt this year I would also invite you to celebrate ... Celebrate what is right with your world! I have taken the phrase from a wonderful National Geographic photographer, Dewitt Jones (www.dewittjones.com), who has an ...

Imagine eating a lovely piece of carrot cake with no icing. It’s a good, well-made cake. There is a thin filling of icing in the middle. When we finish eating, we are full, but are we satisfied? There is something missing… It’s a bit like that when we don’t have a really well-established session agreement (sometimes known as ‘contracting’). So, how do you make sure your coaching session is ...

As a coach, have you ever had a client look at you strangely or ask you to repeat a question? As a mentor, I listen to many coaching session recordings. Often in these situations, I notice that the ‘language’ the two people are using is not necessarily in synch. Let's take a look at the way we use language as coaches and where the ‘language of coaching’ may trip ...

Background The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is the world’s largest organisation of professionally trained coaches, with members in more than 140 countries worldwide and over 30,000 credential holders across more than 125 countries. The organisation was first established in 1995 to provide a space for all coaches to support each other’s development and help expand the profession of coaching. The ICF has grown rapidly during the past two decades, ...

As you know, Hilary and I are both passionate about continuous growth and learning as coaches. Well, I will share more of my insights to help you mature as a coach in a forthcoming book co-written with psychologist and coach Jonathan Passmore. Becoming a Coach: The Essential ICF Guide is for a coach of any experience level. Not only does it provide a strong foundation for coaching basics and ...

Choice: An act or the possibility of choosing between two or more options. Over the last few weeks, the word choice has been coming up for me and I wondered what it was saying to me. The reason it became so important during the last six weeks was that at the beginning of May, one day before my big birthday, I tripped on the Thames tow path and ended ...

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) has introduced an updated Core Competency Model that comes into force in January 2021. The model sees the introduction of a brand-new competency: Embodies a Coaching Mindset. This addition underlines the need for coaches to consider how they are ‘being’ as well as what they are ‘doing’ when coaching. This blog will provide you with the details of this competency and will also give ...

Over the last four weeks, I have created and delivered several webinars for my clients’ employees and for small business managers and directors on "How to transition to working at home and stay sane!". I specifically used the phrase "working at home" rather than "working from home" as I see a significant difference between the two. When people normally work at an office, and have a "working from home" ...

View the ICF Code of Ethics Every 3-5 years the International Coaching Federation (ICF) reviews the Code of Ethics to ensure that they continue to be fit for purpose, modern and take into account the changing landscape of the coaching world. In addition, any complaints that have been received globally during the intervening years are reviewed to ensure that any ethical issues arising also were taken into account. Starting ...

Whilst we have the expression to describe the “art and science” of something, Michael Grinder (2007) proposes that in fact it is the science that usually comes first when we are learning a new skill. We are often drawn to the pursuit of mastery, actively seeking out the magic of the artistic coaching conversation. However, in reality, our growth and development as coaches usually means that we go through ...

In addition to being a new year, we're also beginning a new decade. 2020 begs the question, "What clarity and vision do you have for the year ahead?" Each year I look ahead at what the coming year may bring for both my business and my life as a whole. I like to ask myself the following questions: What adventures would I like to go on? What experiences would ...

Listening to audios of coaches, coaching and also teaching and mentoring around the ICF Core Competencies, I’ve noticed how often an assumption is made in terms of what is being said and what is being heard. How often do we hear what someone says and assume what they mean? Have you noticed yourself in a conversation, be it a coaching conversation or just with friends, when you feel you ...

Coaching has seen several changes over time in terms of how, by whom and for whom it is used. There was a time when coaching was for the few, and now it is much more for the many, becoming a widely accepted and utilised tool for the development of employees at all levels. However, coaching has not typically been viewed as requiring a different method or approach based on ...

Community is defined as, “the condition of sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common.” We all need some of that, don’t we? Coaching can be a very lonely business. Many coaches run their own solo coaching practice. For internal coaches, they cannot readily talk with others in their organization about their work. This leaves coaches feeling isolated and alone, but it doesn’t have to be that way! ...

I listened to a radio programme the other day about “professional depression,” this caught my attention and I stayed tuned… The programme’s key message was that peoples’ professional lives are increasingly leading to depression. Several examples were shared where professionals are working in organisations and/or environments that lead to significant emotional and psychological disharmony. This can be described as cognitive dissonance, where a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or ...

My philosophy of coach supervision can best be explained using the analogy of advanced driver training. Once we’ve obtained our driver’s license (we’ve taken lessons and passed the test), we can go many years without ever having our driving examined. That is, of course, unless we (knowingly or unknowingly) break the law. Advanced training allows drivers to improve, update and check in on how their driving is doing. It ...

How many times do we hear that coaching is a ‘soft’ skill? Indeed, many personal development training is often categorized as ‘soft’ skills. If you dig deeper into those ‘soft’ skills, many of them are about people. People’s interactions with others and people’s interactions with themselves. Yet ask managers or any leader what is the most challenging part of their role, and the answer is often—dealing with others! When ...