In search of the Sleeping Elephants for Sustainable Change

Many years ago, I studied Transcendental Meditation, and the teacher shared a story which I have always remembered, and which really helped me to understand the concept of accessing a greater level of depth in my meditation practice. Years later, this story has also served well many times as a way to describe working at a deeper level with our coaching clients.

The story goes…

If you imagine your mind to be like a house, when you first begin to meditate, it’s like a process of spring cleaning your house – you can quite quickly notice and are aware of the surface dust that is around you – and your meditation practice enables you to sweep that dust away so that your house is cleaner, clearer and refreshed. However, there is so much more than the surface dust and, if you allow yourself to relax and surrender into your meditation and go deeper, then the ‘wise sleeping elephants’ wake up to bring their gifts to the surface for you.

If we consider this story in a coaching context, when you ask your client a question, if they answer very quickly and readily it might be that what you have connected with is the ‘surface dust’. This doesn’t necessarily mean that this is not useful, however it also probably means that there is more…

Rapid replies from our clients can mean that what they share is a reaction (as opposed to a response) and it might also mean that you have tapped into something that is readily available on the surface of their thoughts – i.e. they may have already thought those thoughts and so you are connecting with something is in fact already ‘known’ to them. Whereas a core purpose of coaching is to evoke new and different thoughts and feelings and perspectives that are ‘beyond the client’s current awareness’. Working at this more conscious, surface level has its benefits of course, however there is so much to be gained by inviting a deeper exploration.

This is clearly outlined by the 3 Levels of Listening model (source: CTI) which points towards a Level 3 listening which is much broader and deeper than simply what is noticeable on the surface of the clients words.

3 Levels of Listening

We can also see from the Iceberg of Listening how, many times, the initial, ‘surface level’ focus of a coaching conversation might be linked to a particular outcome or result that the client wants to achieve through a modification to their behaviour. However, sitting underneath (and informing the behaviour), below the surface are not only our thoughts, but also our emotions, values and beliefs.

The Iceberg of Listening

In his (Neuro) Logical Levels model, Robert Dilts takes this concept of levels and depth of working even further. Dilts identifies 6 neurological levels, and this work was informed by Gregory Bateson, who positioned that the function of each level was to organise the information on the level below it. Changing something on a lower level could, but would not necessarily, affect the upper levels; but changing something in the upper levels would necessarily change things on the lower levels in order to support the higher-level change.

Following this theory, working with our clients at the levels of environment, behaviour and capabilities will add value, however this may be somewhat restricted to a certain context or time period. Whereas, working with our clients at the levels of values and beliefs, identity and purpose offers the opportunity for much deeper and more sustainable change that ripples through all of the layers below.

The (Neuro) Logical Levels

In summary, when working with our clients it is useful to notice carefully what kind of language they use, as this may give us an indication of the level at which they are engaging with their topic. Working at that level can be very valuable and evoke change, however inviting them to explore more deeply into what is underneath the ‘surface’ can enable them to access and wake up the wise sleeping elephants. In this way, we honour the fact that our clients are indeed Creative, Resourceful and Whole, and they just need a safe space with some time to think, for their own inner wisdom to emerge.