Phenomenology of Coaching Presence

When clients engage a coach, they experience a different type of conversation. For some, it may be the first time that they’ve felt genuinely listened to, seen, or understood, and this can have a profound and positive impact on the client’s journey of self-discovery and transformation. Clients might describe the coach as having a real ‘presence’.

But what is coaching presence? And how might a coach learn to increase it? And what if we could create a formula for coaching presence?

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) core competency framework is a valuable starting point for gaining insights. Specifically, Competency 5: Maintains Presence, where the coach “is fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident” and outlines several observable behaviours that demonstrate how a coach might maintain presence. This links to competency 2, Embodies a Coaching Mindset, in how the coach is ‘being’ and provides the foundation for the relationship.

Beyond Competency

A pure competency framework view of coaching presence can only take us so far in answering these questions. However, it highlights two essential and interdependent areas: how the coach attends to the relationship with the client and the coach’s mindset as they work with the client. Each area has the potential to impact the other.

To gain further insight, I reflected upon my coaching experience and started exploring phenomenologically. I became curious about what was happening within me when I noticed a shift in the quality of my presence during a coaching session. As my curiosity grew, I saw patterns that pointed to cognitive and embodied awareness, each having the potential to strengthen or detract from my coaching presence.  From here, I started to explore a formula for coaching presence.

A formula for coaching presence

What if coaching presence was inversely proportional to intention?  An inversely proportional relationship means that when one side of the equation increases, the other decreases by the same proportion.

Therefore, our coaching presence grows as we reduce our intention, where the smallest intention we can hold is to be fully present with our client. Any other intention, such as wanting to help, support or care for your client, increases intention and decreases coaching presence.

This might sound simple, yet in practice, it’s challenging to fully embody a sole intention to be fully present with your client. In reality, we often carry competing or hidden intentions. Consider how your inner coaching stance will be impacted by holding a competing intention of wanting to help. Even considering this as a ‘positive’ intention, the impact is that I become less present to myself and my clients. Instead, I am attending to how I can help them. As a result, I may start to miss emergent signals, work harder, assume more responsibility and attempt to lead them.

In some ways, intention is like an undercurrent as you and your client navigate a series of tributaries together. Some undercurrents, such as wanting to help, will be strong enough to draw you and your client down a particular path. However, when your intention is only to be present, everything slows down as the undercurrent dissipates. This creates a sense of space and stillness from which you and your client can have more capacity to look around, explore, consider, and reflect, trusting that the client will identify the right direction to travel for them.

Factors affecting your intention

While there are numerous examples of competing intentions that may diminish our coaching presence, how can we start to understand what’s behind them? The following list, whilst far from exhaustive, provides some areas for further reflection.

• How does your life script impact your intention? For example, consider that many coaches will have a corporate background. Many organisations (but not all) will reward people for their ability to fix, problem-solve and develop solutions.  Promotions and pay rises may follow. Subconsciously, how might this influence your intention?
• What beliefs might you be holding about yourself? And how might these impact your intention? For example, the belief that your clients only come to you because they value your knowledge and insights. To be viewed as a ‘good’ coach, we must get our client to a particular outcome by sharing our expertise.  We may believe that this is how we demonstrate success and think that we know what’s best for our clients. As a result, when a client asks us, “What do you think I should do?” – we might readily jump in.
• What beliefs might you be holding about your client? Do you genuinely believe your client is creative, resourceful, and whole, or do you have doubts?  Is there a part of you that thinks they can’t do it or need your help to be successful? And again, how might these beliefs influence your intention?
• What language do you use to market yourself as a coach? Marketers love formulas such as “I help X achieve Y so that they can achieve Z”, where you change X, Y, and Z to match your niche. Or statements such as, “Follow my proven 5-step process to…”. As we know from NLP, words create worlds, so how do your own words subconsciously impact your intention?
• Where is your focus? When coaches first learn of the science of coaching and understand the scaffolding offered by the ICF Competencies, a coach may be focused on erecting the scaffolding and demonstrating competency. This is a normal part of learning and growing; the hope is that the competencies become part of the coach’s unconscious competency. Systemically, a coach may also have a hidden loyalty to their coaching school, trainer or professional body. Either of these focuses may result in the intention of the coach wanting to ‘do it right’.

Changing intention

Sadly, changing your intention isn’t usually as straightforward as stating a new intention. It can involve a coach looking deep within themselves and resolving what needs to be resolved.

A helpful starting point is increasing self-awareness – noticing not only what’s happening at a cognitive level but also somatically. Expand this awareness to include the relationship between you and your clients. Notice how your intention is directing your attention. Attention can have many qualities – such as narrow or wide, fixed or dynamic. As a coach embodies the intention of being present, this interplay of expanded awareness and dynamic attention will bring a new quality to the coach’s presence. It will be an invitation to their client to slow down, become present, and connect with themselves in the here and now.

Conclusion

Not every coach will be ready to embrace a single intention of being present with their client. Our ego will tempt us to associate our identity and value as a coach with how we can support, help, fix, mentor or nurture our clients.

However, the most impactful coaches will be those curious about how they can continue to grow, develop and refine their practice. They will embrace a single embodied intention of being fully present with their client, trusting that this is their most powerful stance. They will develop mindfulness practices that support and resource them. They also strengthen and develop reflective practices whilst engaging with their own coach or coaching supervisor as they continue to work on themselves.

This lifelong odyssey demands resilience and openness, not meant for the faint-hearted. Yet, for those who embark upon it, challenges become stepping stones to profound transformation, enriching client engagements and every facet of our lives. Are you ready to embrace the journey to deepen your coaching presence and free yourself of other intentions?

Take a deep dive into the concept and phenomenology of Coaching Presence with Stephen’s Cultivating Your Coaching Presence programme on Thursday, March 13, 2025 and Thursday, March 27 from 9am – 12pm (London time). Register now!